Boys' Night (S2E18) Quotes: The Squat, Girls Drool, Absinth Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

Phil: Standing up to pee vs. the squat.

Luke: Boys Rule, Girls Drool!
Alex:You drool all the time! Mom had to take you to a specialist.
Luke: I'm still growing into my tongue.

Mitchell: Saturday, we're having dinner with Pepper, Longinous and Crispen.
Cam: They're our gay friends.
Mitchell: I think that's clear.

Mitchell: Darling, I need a night with my homies.
Cam: You mean homos [Giggles]

Pepper: Absinth makes the heart grow fonder.

Cam: So all you need to do is put her down in about a half hour and not let a serial killer in the front door.
Hailey: Well, what if he's cute?
Mitchell: Then save him for us.

Walt: And keep your blinds closed when you're doing your little sexy dance.
Phil: Oh god, he's seen my sexy dance.


Pepper: Don't worry she'll stop yapping when she gets on your lap.

All New Modern Family Tonight (March 22): Boys' Night!

Finally, Modern Family is back tonight at 9pm! Check out this sneak preview if you haven't seen it... and check back tomorrow for the funniest quotes from tonight's episode!

Sneak Preview: 'Boys' Night' (S2E18)

After a brief hiatus, Modern Family will be back with an all new episode on Wednesday. Check out this hilarious sneak preview from the episode:

Another Repeat Tonight, March 16! All New Episodes Return Next Week

Yes, sadly tonight Modern Family is still in repeats but the good news is that next week on March 23, the show will be back with all new episode called "Boys' Night."

Lin-Manuel Miranda to Guest Star on Modern Family

I have to be honest and say that I have no idea who this guy is but if Broadway.com thinks it's a big deal, surely it must be a big deal. Apparently, he will be playing some sort of Cesar Milan type dog-whisperer who will probably piss of Jay. But the real question here is, since when do Jay and Gloria have a dog?

Reminder: Tonight's Modern Family Is A Repeat (March 9)!

Now that February sweeps are over, we'll have to wait a couple of weeks for new episodes to return. Tonight's episode will be "Slow Down Your Neighbors" (Original air date: January 5, 2011) and next week (March 16)  ABC will air another repeat, "Our Children, Ourselves" (Original air date: January 12, 2011). All new episodes will return the week after that on March 23.

Two Monkeys and a Panda (S2E17) Quotes: Judge Judy, Ta-Da

Photo credit: ABC

• Phil: If you don't use them then all of our money just goes to charity!

• Haley: [About wearing Alex's sweatshirt] It's the first time the top half got any exercise.

• Haley: Ok, fine, then I will just go put on your favorite nerdy t-shirt. The one with the guy from Back to the Future on it.Alex: That's Albert Einstein!

• Mitchell: Guess what the new spinach is?
  Cam: Radicchio?
  Mitchell: Kale!
  Cam: NO!

• Cam: Alright, go get your gavel, Judge Judy.

• Phil: You mess with Phil Dunphy, the claws come out. 

• Gloria: Ta-da is when you do a flip or a magician cuts the pretty lady in half, not when you show someone where you want to shove their dead body. 

• Jay: It's perfect. Jay Pritchett sitting on the mantle in the old coffee can. It will drive the putz crazy.

Two Monkeys and a Panda (S2E17) Airs March 2nd! Check out a preview here!

'Regrets Only' (S2E16) Quotes: Happy Valen-Birth-Iversay!

Photo: ABC

Luke: Mom, is this upscale casual?

Gloria: [About cutting Phil's hair] I guess I could. I do Jay, why can't I do you?
Phil: You.. can do me...

Cam: I never though I would enjoy having an arch enemy, but I do, Mitchell, I do.

Mitchell: Oh... I feel terrible. I haven't been to the gym in 6 weeks... And I ruined Cam's event.

Luke: Are you gonna get upset and eat all the appetizers again?
Cam: It's amazing what you notice and what you don't notice! [Points at open fly]

Cam: Shouldn't you be getting back home to Donald? That is the name of your cat, isn't it?

Phil: Happy Valen-Birth-Iversay!

Gloria: Wait a minute... Not even crazy woman go crazy without a reason!

Manny: You keep this up and this won't be the last plug I pull.

Princess Part (S2E15): Leave A Message After the..., Charmed My Socks Off & More

Photo credit: ABC

Another great episode of Modern Family! Here are some of my favorite quotes:

Haley: I have a learning disability. The letters jump around on the page and appear backwards.

Phil: Now, we all know that when Nana DeDe comes to visit your mom can get a little…
Haley: Psycho…
Luke: Scary…
Alex: Drunk?

Luke: Hey mom, I’m firsty.

Mitchell: I guess you don’t respect party themes.
Cam: [Indignant] You did not just say that.

Jay: Hi, you’ve reached Jay…
Gloria: and Gloria. Please leave a message after the…
Jay: You didn’t say ‘beep.’
Gloria: If I say ‘beep’ then people will think it’s the beep.
Jay: No, I think they’re gonna know to wait for the actual beep.

Claire: Mom, I could use some help in the kitchen.
Dede: Your words, not mine!

Robby: I am rich but not with money. I’ve got my abs, I’ve got my hair and I’ve got a super sweet job driving that limo outside.

Dede: You know, Robby was a rogue but he could charm your socks off. Although, I doubt he stopped there.

Mitchell: NO my god!

Sneak Peak: Happy Valentine's Day!

Check out this sneak peak from tomorrow's episode. Can't wait!

New Modern Family Episode Tomorrow: Bixby's Back

Photo credit: ABC

After a brief hiatus Modern Family will finally return tomorrow with all new episodes. Woo-hoo! Check out the description for Bixby's Back, tomorrow's Valentine's Day-themed episode below.

Claire and Phil decide to reprise their role-playing adventure from the previous year; Jay's elaborate Valentine's surprise for Gloria keeps getting held up; an admirer comes between Cameron and Mitchell.

Does anyone remember last year's hilarious V-Day episode? It was one of those epic Modern Family moments when Claire's coat got caught in the escalator and she couldn't take it off because she she wasn't wearing anything underneath! Has it really been a year already?

Modern Family Renewed For 3rd Season

Well, this should come as no surprise seeing as it is one of ABC's top rated shows but Modern Family has officially been renewed for the 2011-2012 season! Congratulations to the cast and crew!