Boys' Night (S2E18) Quotes: The Squat, Girls Drool, Absinth Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

Phil: Standing up to pee vs. the squat.

Luke: Boys Rule, Girls Drool!
Alex:You drool all the time! Mom had to take you to a specialist.
Luke: I'm still growing into my tongue.

Mitchell: Saturday, we're having dinner with Pepper, Longinous and Crispen.
Cam: They're our gay friends.
Mitchell: I think that's clear.

Mitchell: Darling, I need a night with my homies.
Cam: You mean homos [Giggles]

Pepper: Absinth makes the heart grow fonder.

Cam: So all you need to do is put her down in about a half hour and not let a serial killer in the front door.
Hailey: Well, what if he's cute?
Mitchell: Then save him for us.

Walt: And keep your blinds closed when you're doing your little sexy dance.
Phil: Oh god, he's seen my sexy dance.


Pepper: Don't worry she'll stop yapping when she gets on your lap.

All New Modern Family Tonight (March 22): Boys' Night!

Finally, Modern Family is back tonight at 9pm! Check out this sneak preview if you haven't seen it... and check back tomorrow for the funniest quotes from tonight's episode!

Sneak Preview: 'Boys' Night' (S2E18)

After a brief hiatus, Modern Family will be back with an all new episode on Wednesday. Check out this hilarious sneak preview from the episode:

Another Repeat Tonight, March 16! All New Episodes Return Next Week

Yes, sadly tonight Modern Family is still in repeats but the good news is that next week on March 23, the show will be back with all new episode called "Boys' Night."

Lin-Manuel Miranda to Guest Star on Modern Family

I have to be honest and say that I have no idea who this guy is but if Broadway.com thinks it's a big deal, surely it must be a big deal. Apparently, he will be playing some sort of Cesar Milan type dog-whisperer who will probably piss of Jay. But the real question here is, since when do Jay and Gloria have a dog?

Reminder: Tonight's Modern Family Is A Repeat (March 9)!

Now that February sweeps are over, we'll have to wait a couple of weeks for new episodes to return. Tonight's episode will be "Slow Down Your Neighbors" (Original air date: January 5, 2011) and next week (March 16)  ABC will air another repeat, "Our Children, Ourselves" (Original air date: January 12, 2011). All new episodes will return the week after that on March 23.

Two Monkeys and a Panda (S2E17) Quotes: Judge Judy, Ta-Da

Photo credit: ABC

• Phil: If you don't use them then all of our money just goes to charity!

• Haley: [About wearing Alex's sweatshirt] It's the first time the top half got any exercise.

• Haley: Ok, fine, then I will just go put on your favorite nerdy t-shirt. The one with the guy from Back to the Future on it.Alex: That's Albert Einstein!

• Mitchell: Guess what the new spinach is?
  Cam: Radicchio?
  Mitchell: Kale!
  Cam: NO!

• Cam: Alright, go get your gavel, Judge Judy.

• Phil: You mess with Phil Dunphy, the claws come out. 

• Gloria: Ta-da is when you do a flip or a magician cuts the pretty lady in half, not when you show someone where you want to shove their dead body. 

• Jay: It's perfect. Jay Pritchett sitting on the mantle in the old coffee can. It will drive the putz crazy.